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A Semi-Exhausted And Opinionated Guide to Rock 'n' Roll And R&B Christmas Music

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Various Artists Christmas Compilations

Alligator Records Christmas Collection, The ***

Alligator [CD]

Of the blues collection gathered here, this is the most contemporary. Cuts like Ko Ko Taylor's lusty "Merry, Merry Christmas," Lil' Ed & The Blues Imperials' "I'm Your Santa," and Son Seals searing "Lonesome Christmas" are a joy. On the downside, there's Tinsley Ellis' flaccid "Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin'," and the addled and meandering "Little Drummer Boy" from the addled and meandering Elvin Bishop. It's an uneven collection, that has its moments.

Austin Rhythm And Blues Christmas, An ****

Antones

Austin has a long reputation for strong R&B, and this collection is further proof of its validity. There aren't a whole lot of big names, but they get the job done. The biggest name is probably The Fabulous Thunderbirds. They contribute a couple of good, but not great, cuts, "Merry Christmas Darling" and "Rockin' Winter Wonderland." Also on hand is Charles Sexton, still a teen when this was recorded, doing a bang up job on Elvis' "Santa Bring My Baby Back To Me." It's the two women who really make this set special. Lou Ann Barton tears up the house with "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree,' and breaks your heart with "Please Come Home For Christmas." Angela Strehli all but matches her with "Boogie Woogie Santa Claus" and the melodious and sexy "Sweet Little Baby Boy."

Best Of Cool Yule, The ****

Rhino [CD]

It's title may be very similar to another Rhino vinyl only compilation but they only share five cuts, and one of those is Ed "Kookie" Barnes, which you don't wanna hear anyway. There are eighteen tracks and most of them are strong, but a few are the usual suspects. Things get off to a hopping start, down on the bayou, with Brenda Lee's "Papa No‘l." Solomon Burke offers the classic soul of "Presents For Christmas," and The Uniques do a creditable job on Charles Brown's "Please Come Home For Christmas." Some of the less common cuts include The Martels' "Rockin Santa Claus," Huey "Piano" Smith's New Orleans take on "Silent Night," from a session that includes the Nevilles and Dr. John, Gary Walker's James Brown rewrite, "Santa's Got A Brand New Bag," and JB himself is on hand with "Santa Claus, Santa Claus," a "Please, Please, Please" style ballad. Ike & Tina Turner's "Merry Christmas Baby" is steamy enough to melt the polar ice caps while The Sonics are out in the garage redoing "Farmer John" as "Santa Claus."

Blue Yule: Christmas Blues And R&B Classics *****

Rhino [CD]

This is how it's done! All the cuts are rare and impossible to find and there's not a clunker in the bunch. This baby is hard core blues all the way. Tracks cover a forty year range, spanning from 1950 up until 1990. Eddie C. Campbell's "Santa's Messing With The Kid" is a surging blues featuring a nasty harp, and Lightening Hopkins' "Merry Christmas" is slow and moody. Canned Heat pump out their usual boogie in "Christmas Blues" (a song that was paired with The Chipmunks on the flipside on its original seven inch release) and a couple the palest white blues players around, Johnny and Edgar Winter, are members of The Insight. Louis Jordan's last recording ever, "Santa Claus, Santa Claus" is included and sounds fine. I don't think you'll ever hear a nastier (in a good way, that is) Christmas song than Sonny Boy Williamson's "Santa Claus." Nor will you ever hear a better blues singer than John Lee Hooker, who has the "Blues For Christmas." Eighteen cuts in all, four of them CD bonus tracks, and not a weak track in the bunch.

Boston Rock Christmas, A ***1/2

Boston Rock

Really more of an EP than a an album, but still fun. Native Tongue do a Pixies-ish version of "Do You Hear What I Hear?" and Jeff & Jane pile the synths onto "Jingle Bells." The Del Fuegos team up with Sonny Columbus, head guy at the Hoodoo Barbecue (which is situated upstairs over Boston's infamous Rat club) for a rootsy, rockabilly "That Punchbowl Full Of Joy." It's fairly ordinary punk and hardcore for SSD ("Jolly Old Saint Nick") and the appropriately named Christmas ("O Holy Night").

Bummed Out Christmas ****

Rhino [CD]

Another strong collection with relatively rare tracks and high quality. And it has a theme too. This is not just a collection of disaffected bad boys trashing up some Christmas carols to show how outr» and hip they are. All the cuts are originals and show the downside of the holidays, some seriously and some humorously. The Everly Brothers come right to the point with the countryish "Christmas Eve Can Kill You." Clyde Lasley & The Cadillac Baby Specials (now there's a name) play some dirty blues on "Santa Came Home Drunk." The Sonics tell you they "Don't believe in Christmas," and it's only a wonderful vocal that saves George Jones' otherwise saccharine "Lonely Christmas Call." It doesn't get much more depressing than "Christmas In Viet Nam," a Sam And Dave style crying song by Johnny & Jon. Maybe the best cut, The Staple Singers' "Who Took The Merry Out Of Christmas?" is sexy, bluesy and rare. The Youngsters lighten things up a bit with the Doo Wop of "Christmas In Jail," and Doug Legacy & The Legends Of The West (featuring Ry Cooder) tackle John Prine's "Christmas In Prison."

Christmas Classics ****

Rhino [CD]

The title of this one says it all. It's heavy with the usual suspects - Brenda Lee, The Drifters, Charles Brown (2 cuts), Bobby Helms, and Chuck Berry. The less familiar tracks include Aretha Franklin ("Winter Wonderland," from her Columbia days), Santo & Johnny ("Twistin' Bells") and Doo Wop group The Cadillacs ("Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer"). Cuts by Bobby "Boris" Pickett, Ray Stevens, and Bobby Vee tend to diminish the usefulness of this collection, but it still makes a good place to start for the basics.

Christmas Gift 'Rap ***1/2

Motown Records

A collection assembled from the various Motown Christmas records. Included are The Supremes, Smoky Robinson & The Miracles, Stevie Wonder , and The Temptaions. Unfortunately there's nothing from the Jackson 5 Christmas record.

Christmas Record, A **1/2

Passport

This is more No Wave than New Wave, centering on a lot of the downtown New York scene of the early 80s. The Waitresses' "Christmas Wrapping" was, along with Blondie's "Rapture," one of the first records by a mainstream, or at least major label artist, to incorporate rap. Don't come around if you're looking for jeep beats and gangstas though, because like Blondie, this stuff is pretty chirpy. But it's still fun, the tale of a lonely NYC girls who meets Mr. Right on Christmas day. Things get a little funkier with tracks from Was (Not) Was, Material w/ Nona Hendryx, and August Darnell AKA Kid Creole. The Three Courgettes are the poppiest on the disc and the most dissonant, and sacrilegious, is James White doing "Christmas With Satan."

Christmas Rock **

Rhino

Another one that's not really an album - it's a 4 cut EP, Christmas tree shaped and on green vinyl. The tracks are fairly prosaic, and there titles tell you about all you need to know stylistically: "Punk Rock Christmas," "Rockabilly Christmas," and "Santa's Gone Surfin'."

Christmas Rock Album, The ***1/2

Priority

It's a blink-and-it's-deleted compilation. But a pretty good one, from an era in Christmas music that is under-represented. Of all the compilations it's the most white bread. Strong tracks from Elton John, The Waitresses, Dave Edmunds, and The Kinks. The other tracks are not as strong but are probably harder to track down: Queen ("Thank God It's Christmas"), Foghat ("All I Want For Christmas") and two by Billy Squier ("White Christmas" and "Christmas Is The Time To Say I Love You").

Christmas Soul Special **1/2

Varrick

The list of artists would lead you to believe that this was a much better record than it actually is: Wilson Pickett, Mary Wells, Ben E. King, Martha Reeves, and Sam Moore. The songs are all rather traditional Christmas chestnuts, but unfortunately it was recorded in the early 80s and none of the artists have much of their original spark left. Most of the voices are still in fine shape, but the performances are fairly common and the arrangements and accompaniment are anonymous. Hopefully, they'll at least get paid this time.

Cool Christmas ***

WEA [CD]

This is a UK compilation comprised entirely of WEA artists and, for the most part, relatively new recordings. It starts with the Pogues' finest moment, "Fairytale Of New York," featuring the magical Kirsty MacColl. Also included are The Pretenders' "2000 Miles," and They Might Be Giants' "Santa's Beard," which is not nearly as annoying as the band usually is. The usual older cuts by The Eagles, Otis Redding, and Booker T & The MGs are included. There is also a bunch of songs that are Christmas in name only, by artists like Lou Reed ("Christmas In February"), Tom Waits ("Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis") and Tori Amos ("Winter").

Cool Yule ***

Rhino

A combination of the usual suspects (Chuck Berry, The Drifters, Booker T. & The MGs) and a few rare gems. In the latter category are Bud Logan's "Sock It To Me Santa" and The Surfaris' "Surfer's Christmas List." Also present are nuggets like Clarence Carter's "Back Door Santa" and a couple of jungle rock treats from The Marquees. Bringing up the lame side are Jack Scott with "There's Trouble Brewin'" and, once again, Ed "Kookie" Byrnes.

Dark Side Of The Christmas Tree, The 1/2*

Performance

Aside from the clever Dark Side Of The Moon parody on the cover there's nothing whatsoever to recommend about this. It's arty, pretentious, and above all, crap.

Have A Merry Chess Christmas ***1/2

Chess

Not surprisingly, this is a bluesy record. The only run of the mill cuts are the two ubiquitous Chuck Berry songs. The Moonglows boisterous "Hey Santa Claus," The Soul Stirrers' (not the Sam Cooke group) "Christmas Meands Love," and The O'Jays "Christmas Ain't Christmas Without The One You Love" are some of the features here. The biggest treat is Rotary Connection's "Christmas Love" featuring a young Minnie Ripperton.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas **1/2

Rhino/Real Live [CD]

This is a strange set. It's all over the map stylistically, and the three artists that get more than one cut, get them consecutively to start the disc off. The Roches do a couple of numbers a cappella and are as quirky as ever. Nicolette Larson does a fine job on Steve Earle's "Nothing But A Child," and Dr. John's "Silent Night" scorches like a bowl of fil» gumbo. Rob Mathes and Eugene Ruffolo contribute traditionally schlocky Christmas songs that wouldn't sound out of place at the mall, while Eastern Bloc, featuring ex Patti Smith group guitarist Ivan Kral, punks up "Jingles Bells."

Jingle Bell Rock ****

Time-Life Music [CD]

This collection was offered as part of Time Life's The Rock 'n' Roll Era series, and while it's not reason enough to subscribe to the series, it's an above average set. (The whole series is pretty good.) Usual suspects like Otis, Chuck, and Brenda Lee are accounted for. Also included are several cuts from the Motown series of Christmas albums, with The Supremes, Smoky Robinson & The Miracles, and The Temptations. Rounding out the set are tracks from The Beach Boys, Jan & Dean, The O'Jays and Elton John.

Just In Time For Christmas **1/2

IRS

A very uneven showcase for IRS bands. On the up side we have Squeeze's "Christmas Day," The dB's' "Home For The Holidays," Molly Johnson & Norman Orenstien's "Silent Night" and Wall Of Voodoo's wacky and twisted "Shouldn't Have Given Him A Gun For Christmas." Dragging it down are Klark Kent AKA the Police's Stewart Copland, Timbuk 3 and Dread Zeppelin, a band that wasn't even that good a joke conceptually, never mind musically.

Lump Of Coal, A ***1/2

First Warning [CD]

As the title would lead you to believe, this a pretty irreverent collection. The Hoodoo Gurus launch things with a vindaloo surf treatment of the Harry Simeone Chorale with "Little Drummer Boy (Up The Khyber)." The Wedding Present's version of Elton John's "Step Into Christmas" is nice and opaque, while The Primitives are suitably light and fuzzy for their version of "Silent Night." The always great Young Fresh Fellows crank out a delightful rendition of "Little Town Of Bethlehem." The record version of The Crash Test Dummies' "The First Noel" is not bad, but catch the video of the song if you possibly can. The weirdest track is Henry Rollins' napalm-in-the-morning reading of "Twas The Night Before Christmas," complete with Darth Vader vocals effects, sirens, bombs and machine guns. Happy holidays to you too, Hank.

Merry Christmas ***

Etiquette

Christmas comes to the Pacific Northwest. Originally released in '65, but withdrawn due to the remarkable resemblance of The Wailers' "Christmas Spirit??" to a Bob Dylan song, it was rereleased and is now available for everyone to enjoy. There are ten cuts split evenly between The Sonics, The Wailers, and The Galaxies, garage legends all, with The Wailers getting the extra track. The songs are mostly Christmas originals with a couple of evergreens like "Rudolph..." and "The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire)" thrown in for good measure, or at least to fill up the record. They're all done with the expected looseness and energy.

Merry Christmas Baby ***1/2

Gusto

This one wins the ugliest cover award, hands down, and I'm not sure about the legality of it either. The labels on the record itself are those of the venerable, but now defunct, King Records, yet it has a Nashville address on it and the disc itself lists a Canadian company. All that aside it's a generous (sixteen tracks) collection of obscure and powerful blues. After you get beyond the obligatory Charles Brown opener, you're in uncharted territory. Lowell Fulson has "Lonesome Christmas" parts 1 and 2, while Freddy King blasts through "Christmas Tears" and "I Hear Jingle Bells." Other highlights include Mabel Scott's "Boogie Woogie Santa Claus," Jimmy Witherspoon's "Christmas Blues," and the Jackson Trio's "Jingle Bell Hop."

Midnight Christmas Mess, A ****

Midnight

Midnight Christmas Mess, Vol. 2, A****1/2

Midnight

Midnight Christmas Mess, Vol. 3, A ****

Midnight

They're wonderful, all three of them. If you like your music, slick, pretty, refined, and tasteful, then stay away from these puppies. This is the rock 'n' roll that was underground before the underground became the norm. A lot of it is pretty tame by today's standards as far as noise and unconventional song structures are concerned. It's a combination of garage, pyschedelia, pop and a little metal and rockabilly thrown in too. There are no "names" here, even by underground standards, just a lot of fun and good music. Like the over-amped rockabilly of Johnny Rabb ("Christmas Dance" and "Gotta Get Lucky For Christmas"), or the Woofing Cookies who are darkly funny one minute in "Santa Ain't Santa" (Santa seems to have dispatched with the whole family), and then quite touching the next with "Staring In The Eye Of God." If you don't get a chuckle out of The Iguanas' "Reindeer And Whiskey - we're talking BBQ here - ya just gotta loosen up a bit. There are a few covers scattered over the three discs, ranging from The Senders take on "Merry Christmas Baby," to The Slickee Boys' rendition of Simon and Garfunkel's "Hazy Shade Of Winter," to The Love Pushers' affectionate Big Star recreation of Alex Chilton's "Jesus Christ." Everything is irreverent and fun, but nothing is nasty.

Mr. Santa's Boogie **

Savoy Jazz

Some of these recordings date back to the '30s and '40s, and being taken from 78s are a tad noisy, but they're still a lot of fun. Of historical importance is The Ravens' version of "White Christmas" which served as the prototype for The Drifters' version. The most interesting of the remainder, once again, comes from the women in the set. Little Esther Phillips has those "Far Away Christmas Blues," and Big Maybelle simply destroys "Silent Night." Debbie Dabney's "I Want To Spend Christmas With Elvis" was probably the wish of more than one young lady in 1956, but I'm sure few of them could have matched her spirited faux rockabilly performance. Strong, and informative liner notes are an added bonus.

Phil Spector's Christmas Album *****

Phillies/Apple/Warner Spector/Pavillion

The King. This was unquestionably Phil's crowning achievement. In a just and fair world this record would go into constant rotation at about December 15 every year, instead of those damn barking dogs. It's no wonder he lost it and became a recluse. It's glorious. The Ronettes do "Frosty The Snowman" and "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" and "Sleigh Ride." The Crystals do "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" (providing Bruce Springsteen with the arrangement for his version) and "Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer." But, truly, this is Darlene Love's record. If you count The Crystals' songs, she sing half or more, of the entire thing. This was Phil Spector's true moment of genius: recording Darlene Love. The record opens with her version of "White Christmas," the equal of Bing's or Otis'. "Marshmallow World" and "Winter Wonderland" are nearly as good. They give you that same goofy-grinned warm spot that you get from watching A Charlie Brown Christmas or How The Grinch Stole Christmas. But the best, the sine qua non of Christmas songs, is "Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)." Not just a monumental Christmas song, but a monumental song period. If her impassioned plea of "Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Baby, please come home!" doesn't raise the hairs on the back of your neck, then you have less Christmas spirit than the bastard offspring of Ebenezer Scrooge and The Grinch. Perhaps the best recorded female vocal performance ever.

Rhythm & Blues Christmas ***

United Artists

It's just what the title says. Several of the usual suspects are present (Charles Brown ,Chuck Berry, The Drifters), but so are some less common ones, mostly on side 2. B.B. King does his usual good job on "Christmas Celebration," as does Amos Milburn on "Let's Make Christmas Merry Baby." Also on board are baby Washington, Lowell Fulson, and Marvin & Johnny.

Rhythm & Blues Christmas, A **1/2

Collectibles

This more recent collection shares several songs (cuts by Chuck Berry and Baby Washington) as well as a title with the above set. Highlights are two cuts by The Moonglows and Lightnin' Hopkins' "Santa."

Rockin' Bethlehem ****

Timberyard [CD]

Rockin' Bethlehem (The Second Coming) ****1/2

Timberyard [CD]

These are both Aussie imports and are well worth the effort to track down. It's not clear in the notes, but it looks like they benefit a series of Australian charities, so you'll be doing a good deed at the same time as you get some dandy Christmas music. Johnny Teen & The Broken Hearts start volume 1 off with "Dear Santa," which is not your normal letter to the North Pole. Near the end Johnny tells us, "I know what I want/and you know I will not fail/To prove that I mean business/Rudolph's nose is in the mail." Other standouts are The Dubrovniks' Beastie Boys style metal rap on "Bah Humbugger," and the Lime Spiders' rave up on "Children Of The Sun," which sounds like Jeff Beck era Yardbirds a bit. The Interstellar Villains contribute some Chiltonesque pop with "Christmas Chimes (Are Here Already)" and Happy Hate Me Nots have the real thing with "Jesus Christ." The biggest names are the aforementioned Lime Spiders and The Church's Steve Kilbey with "Spirit Of Christmas." The Second Coming is that rarest of birds, the sequel that exceeds the original. The screaming Tribesman flat out rock with "Santa's Little Helper." It's also a little more stylistically diverse collection, ranging from the girl pop of Rum Babas ("Hearts On The Table") to the airy pop/folk of Rob Craw ("When It's Christmas Time") to the Big Star pop of Don Mariani's Orange ("Christmasonic"). Archie Roach and Paul Kelly collaborate on the sad, but realistic "Christmas Eve." The Hellmen come off like Mitch Ryder & The Detroit Wheels in their cover of Bob Seger's "Sock It To Me Santa." The Psychotic Turnbuckles' "Psychotic Christmas" starts out with a WWF tag team Texas cage death match in which Santa loses the title, and then it gets weird from there.

Rockin' Christmas The 50s ***1/2

Rhino

Rockin' Christmas The 60s ***1/2

Rhino

These two volumes would clearly be core items in a decent Christmas collection. The 50s has Oscar McLollie ("Dig That Crazy Santa Claus"), The Moods ("Rockin' Santa Claus"), The Hepsters ("Rockin N Rollin With Santa Claus") and The Penguins ("Jingle Jangle"); all are early Rock 'n' Roll or Doo Wop. Things are a little more familiar on The 60s. Along with The Sonics and James Brown, there are The Turtles ("Santa And The Sidewalk Surfer"), The Trashmen ("Dancing With Santa") and Paul Revere & The Raiders (Wear A Smile At Christmas").

Santa Claus Blues ***

Jass [CD]

Most of these recordings are old, very old. Most fall in the range from 1925 - 50, and some are very scratchy. The saving grace is that most have hot performances and historical significance both. Artists include Louis Armstrong, Duke Ellington, Benny Goodman, Fats Waller and Woody Herman. Of particular note are the Lionel Hampton cuts and Louis Armstrong's 1971 reading of "Twas The Night Before Christmas." It all predates Rock 'n' Roll, but it sings and sways and defines hep.

Soul Christmas *****

Atco

One of the first and still one of the best. All the artists are from the Atlantic and Stax rosters of the 60s, you know it doesn't get much finer than that. Many of these are pretty ubiquitous on other Christmas compilation but this is their home. Included here, but missing from the CD below, are King Curtis doing a slinky job of "The Christmas Song," and William Bell's silky "Every Day Will Be Like A Holiday."

Soul Christmas *****

Atlantic [CD]

Even though it has most of the cuts from the earlier vinyl version and adds a bunch of other tracks from Atlantic subsidiaries, it just doesn't have the resonance of the original. In spite of that, it's still essential. The usual Otis, Carla Thomas, and Drifters cuts are here, as is the horniest Christmas song in history, Clarence Carter's "Back Door Santa" - "I ain't like ole Saint Nick/He don't come but once a year." William Bell may have been lifted from this collection but his songs still shows up in a slightly inferior version by The Sweet Inspirations. Margie Joseph does a good job on some early 70s female soul, coming down somewhere between Aretha Franklin and Diana Ross with "Christmas Gift."

Stuff This In Your Stocking (Elves In Action) ***1/2

Skyclad/Veebletronics [CD]

This has got to be the only Christmas record with a song dedicated to Stiv Bators: Hello Disaster's "I'll Be Home For Christmas," which sounds nothing like The Dead Boys. French Lemon Santas choose a Slade cover, and do a nice job on "Merry Christmas Everybody." There are Kinks, ELP, and Sonics Christmas covers too. Many times the band names on some of the more eclectic Christmas records are pseudonyms for one-shot collaborations. Keeping that in mind, Emma Vine & The Emotionals sound an awfully lot like Blondie in "Oh Santa." Even stranger is the appearance of Mars Bonfire, Mr. "Born To Be Wild," as co-writer on two tracks, and organist on four of them. Taking it up another notch on the What? Scale is the fact that one of them is a collaboration with The Seed's Sky Saxon.

Very Special Christmas, A *****

A&M [CD]

Very Special Christmas 2, A *1/2

A&M [CD]

Both of these CDs are aimed at raising funds for the Special Olympics, so that oughtta be reason enough to buy them both. The first volume is exquisite. The Pointer Sisters pay homage to Phil Spector with their version of "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" with Clarence Clemmons on hand to recreate the sax solo from Springsteen's version. The Boss himself drops by with his version of Charles Brown's "Merry Christmas Baby" by way of Otis Redding. Chrissie Hynde croons through "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" with a vocal that's full of heartbreak, while John "still using Cougar at this point" Mellencamp turns "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" into an Appalachian hoe-down. U2, never one's to back down from a challenge, tackle "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" and finish well behind Darlene Love, but closer than you'd have expected. (See Phil Spector's Christmas Album). Madonna pouts through Eartha Kitt's "Santa Baby," revealing that she doesn't take herself as serious as we sometimes do. It's not all great; Bob Seger, with half of Grand Funk on hand, stumbles through a leaden "Little Drummer Boy," and Bryan Adams is his usual clumsy, awkward self on "Run Rudolph Run." Run-D.M.C. sample Clarence Carter's "Backdoor Santa" for their strong "Christmas In Hollis," while Bon Jovi eviscerate the same song in their slick, keyboard packed, arena mush version.

The second volume is pretty dreary by comparison. Tom Petty, in one of the least bad cuts, goes for a big Spectorish production with "Christmas All Over Again," but it sags under it's own weight - come on, 25 musical credits on a Tom Petty song? Sinead O'Connor does a good job in Bob Dylan's "I Believe In You," but what's it doing on a Christmas record? Run-D.M.C. prove that they can still throw it down, Old School style, with "Christmas Is." The best cut is Ronnie Spector and Darlene Love's "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree," which doesn't reach the glories of either's earlier performances but is still damn fine. The biggest surprise is Vanessa Williams, who turns in a smoky, jazzy "What Child Is This?" Pretty good are Paul Young's blue-eyed soul and the Wilson sisters bluesy country take on Elvis' "Blue Christmas." There's a handful of schmaltzy crap, Luther Vandross, Boyz II Men, Aretha Franklin, and Debbie Gibson, as well as a couple of good arguments for the death penalty, Michael Bolton and Extreme. But the most completely weird and twisted cut is the surreally bad duet between Frank Sinatra and Cyndi Lauper on "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town."

White Christmas Album, The ***1/2

Doctor Dream [CD]

Another in-house project. In spite of that it's still kinda interesting, if only because it's cheap; about four bucks I think. There's a passel of pop styles scattered throughout. Joyride do the full-on power pop thing ("Little Drummer Boy"), Blackwatch shimmer a bit (appropriately on "Brilliant Tinsel Christmas") and The Super 8 Project ("Sleepy Santa") are dreamy. Walking Wounded do a Merle Haggard cover and end up sounding like Ian Tyson, which, if you don't know, is a good thing. The Cadillac Tramps put the proper trash into their version of "Blue Christmas." One of the savviest selections is the swamp Zombies' cover of "Mr. Heat Miser," from that old stop action animated Christmas special with Fred Astaire, The Abominable Snowman, Rudolph, and a dentist elf named Shermie.

Yule Tunes ***

Black Vinyl [CD]

This should have been a lot better. It's a power pop Christmas, and that should have been great. There's nothing remotely bad, but the songs are all of one type and not especially noteworthy examples of that type. The best cut is also the only cover, and only song that's not straight power pop; Don Dixon and Marti Jones do a lovely job on William Bell's "Every Day Will Be Like A Holiday."