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A Semi-Exhausted And Opinionated Guide to Rock 'n' Roll And R&B Christmas Music

or

Stuff This In Your Stocking!

The following is an article that appeared in DISCoveries magazine's Dec.1995 issue.

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From back in the 4th century when the Christians co-opted the December 25 celebrations of the sun god worshipping Mithraists in an attempt to steal their thunder and make Christianity the chosen religion, tradition has played a major role in Christmas festivities. Whether we're talking Mistletoe, Christmas Trees (also appropriated, this time from the Druids), Christmas cards, Santa Claus, Caroling, Egg Nog (still a mystery as to why it has endured), or eating turkey until you groan, you can't get away from Christmas traditions.

Rock 'n' Roll has traditionally been anti-traditional. It was supposed to be about rebellion and something new. And that should have nothing to do with Christmas, right? Wrong! Rock 'n' Roll and R&B Christmas music has been with us since just about the time we had either genre of music. In fact, some of those very songs have now become Christmas traditions. You can't get near a mall in December without being treated to several versions of "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree," or "Jingle Bell Rock." Those songs have become as traditional as Perry Como, Burl Ives, and The Harry Simeone Chorale (who hit the top 30 five years straight, '58-'62, with their only hit, "The Little Drummer Boy").

Well, that's not what this article is about. We're not gonna look at the rest of the Christmas music world. There'll be no Easy Listening, Jazz, Country & Western, or Novelty records here. Those types of music have tons of releases, and in a lot of cases are pretty easy to find. Often, they're damn near impossible to avoid. We're gonna look at Rock 'n' Roll and R&B, and some Blues too, just for good measure, and I think you'll be surprised at how much of it there is.

As Rock 'n' Roll fans get old and the CD becomes firmly entrenched, record companies seem to be releasing even more Rock 'n' Roll Christmas music. Every year the bins get fuller. This year's release sheets are teeming with Christmas releases, from both major and tiny Indie labels alike. Some will be included in the discography, where information is available, but not reviewed, since they'll hit the stores far too late to make the deadline. While the labels may start releasing their Christmas bounty as early as September, most record stores won't stock it until late November. (Perhaps we'll start doing yearly updates if the onslaught continues as it has the past few years.)

While the number of Christmas releases is growing, the trend seems to be away from single artist records. Several reasons for this exist. An artist must be firmly established enough to carry an entire record by themselves and as we tend toward multi-year mega projects, neither artists or record companies want to devote the time or money toward the limited reward of a seasonal release. In the past when an artist put out a record or two every year it was no big deal to lay down a dozen Christmas tracks too. This makes multi-artist compilations much easier to assemble and more desirable since it's no big deal to get just one track from an artist and weaker artists can be hammocked between stronger ones, much as we continually see with movie soundtracks.

Bucking this trend are the more MOR artists like Amy Grant and Manheim Steamroller. Kenny G.'s recent Christmas record was the first Christmas record to top the Billboard charts in decades. He, along with Neil Diamond, present another curious facet of Christmas records; those by Jewish artists.

The Usual Suspects

There is a handful of songs that every Christmas record compiler seems to want to include. I'm talking about the same version, by the same artists. It's a given that there will be a version of "White Christmas." And it will inevitably be The Drifters' (with Clyde McPhatter) or Otis Redding's version. It's becoming less of a problem since most of the newer Christmas records are by newer artists (brilliant piece of observation there) and while they may want to include "White Christmas," it's at least a new version. Even more heartening is the trend towards writing new, original Christmas themed songs. Other ubiquitous Christmas records are:

I'll refer to them as The Usual Suspects, to borrow a phrase from Casablanca.

The Ratings

The rating system is based on zero to five stars, with increments of half a star. The system is similar to the one used in the various versions of The Rolling Stone Album Guides. I should stress that it's only the system, and not the ratings themselves which have been adopted; some of my ratings agree with theirs, and some don't.

*****
These are definitive records. They should be part on any Christmas collection, and should really be part of any good music collection. They transcend the Christmas genre.

****
These records are pretty darn good, but have a flaw of some sort. They'd be a good place to start if you wanna begin a Christmas collection.

***
Pretty good records, but they have several weak selections or are full of very common stuff. If you're a fan of the artist or like to throw Christmas parties in July, then you'll probably want these so you have enough decent music. These are also a pretty good source of material for your homemade mix tapes. Records rated three stars and above are are enjoyable and worth owning.

**
Now we're getting into some pretty dodgy territory. You have to a completeist to need these. They may have one or two worthwhile cuts, but are probably just uniformly mediocre.

*
You look at these ones and wonder out loud why you bought it. They don't even make very good frisbees. They're not worth throwing away because your afraid the garbage man will see them and stop taking your trash. Bad beyond fun - entertainingly bad records would rate a couple of stars, these are just plain annoying.

For the sake of clarity, a rating of half a star would be written as 1/2* while two and a half, for example would be **1/2.
[CD] denotes that an item is available on CD.
Colored vinyl is also mentioned where applicable.

The Top Five Christmas Records of All Time

Here they are, in order, the most crucial and extraordinary slices of holiday Rock 'n' Roll:

Honorable Mention:

The Music

Since most of us grew up on 45s and know that they were what Rock 'n' Roll and R&B were really about, we'll start our survey by looking at them, followed by Christmas compilations and then single artist Christmas records, finally ending up with some odds and sods.

Addendum:

Though it doesn't fit into the scope of this article there is one more Christmas record that you should have in your collection, especially if you have children. Actually you should have a copy if you know a child or were ever a child yourself. I'm talking about A Charlie Brown Christmas by the Vince Guaraldi Trio. You know the music. It's magnificent. Merry Christmas.

- John F. Butland

Copyright 1995 by DISCoveries magazine